Wednesday, 14 May 2025

Many people now rely on smartphones and digital devices for communication, work, and entertainment. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? | Band 7 sample answer for ielts writing task 2

Many people now rely on smartphones and digital devices for communication, work, and entertainment. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

SAMPLE ANSWER:-

It is believed by several individuals that in order to communicate, work and entertain themselves masses nowadays are overly dependent on technological gadgets. Although over reliance on technology have some demerits, I think the merits such as increase in productivity and better connectivity cannot be overlooked.

commencing with the advantages of the given notion, the primary one is increase in productivity at work with the help of technological gadgets. In other word, gadgets such as mobile or computer assist us to complete our work not in less time but also in the best possible manner which can be quite lucrative in competitive world. For example, employees nowadays use artificial intelligence apps such as ChatGPT to prepare presentations or write articles, which lead to completion of task on time. Besides this, it not just helps people to connect with each other but also provides an opportunity to attend different entertainment concerts or matches virtually through live streaming or other possible options. Therefore, use of technical advancement is very helpful to improve the convenience for people. 

However, there are some demerits of this phenomenon that cannot be overlooked, firstly overuse of smartphones and laptops can be detrimental for social skills of people. This is mainly because when masses use technology like social media in personal life and work from home in their professional life their interaction with people declines which make them underconfident to speak and communicate with others in real life scenario, secondly using it for either work or entertainment can give rise in the sedentary lifestyle among people that lead to obesity. For example, majority of individuals who do remote job have to sit at one place for 7 to 8 hours daily which impact their physical and mental well-being. 

In conclusion, even though use of technology can have some demerits like decline in social interaction, I still believe the benefits such as increase in efficiency and productivity cannot be neglected.


ACCORDING TO CHAT GPT 

Here's a *Band score evaluation* of your IELTS Writing Task 2 essay based on the official IELTS assessment criteria:

## 🧠 *Band Score Evaluation:*


### 1. *Task Response – Band 7*


* ✅ *Strengths:*


  * You answered the question fully and addressed both sides.

  * A clear opinion is presented and maintained (you agree the advantages outweigh disadvantages).

  * Relevant examples are provided.


* ⚠ *Suggestions for Improvement:*

  * Your opinion could be integrated *more strongly throughout* the essay, especially in the body paragraphs.

  * Minor underdevelopment: the second paragraph discussing disadvantages could be split into two for clarity and better emphasis.


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### 2. *Coherence and Cohesion – Band 7*


* ✅ *Strengths:*

  * Logical progression of ideas.

  * Paragraphing is clear.

  * Use of cohesive devices like besides this, therefore, for example is appropriate.

* ⚠ *Suggestions:*

  * Some linkers are overused or slightly misused (besides this, secondly could be improved with more formal transitions).

  * Combine and vary sentence structures to improve flow and reduce repetition.


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### 3. *Lexical Resource – Band 7.5*


* ✅ *Strengths:*

  * Good range of vocabulary: over-reliance, detrimental, sedentary lifestyle, productivity, virtual streaming.

  * Some good topic-specific collocations.

* ⚠ *Suggestions:*

  * Minor word choice issues:

   * masses is too informal or awkward in this context – use people, individuals, or users.

    * Lucrative is misused – it usually refers to something financially rewarding, not "efficient or useful."

  * Rephrase awkward constructions (e.g., "not in less time but also in the best possible manner").


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### 4. *Grammatical Range and Accuracy – Band 6.5–7*

* ✅ *Strengths:*

  * Complex sentence structures are attempted.

  * Mix of active/passive and use of relative clauses shows good control.

* ⚠ *Suggestions:*

  * Subject-verb agreement errors: e.g., "over reliance on technology have" → should be "has"

  * Article and plural issues: “give rise in the sedentary lifestyle” → should be “give rise to a sedentary lifestyle”

  * Some awkward phrasing and minor grammar slips reduce clarity (e.g., “to complete our work not in less time but also…” → should be “not only in less time, but also more effectively”)

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## ✅ *Estimated Overall Band Score: 7*

## 🛠 *Key Suggestions to Improve to Band 8:*

* Work on *grammatical precision*—review subject-verb agreement, article usage, and prepositions.

* Improve *formality* and avoid repeated or awkward terms like masses or lucrative.

* Use a greater variety of sentence structures for cohesion and impact.

* Maintain *clearer opinion emphasis* throughout each body paragraph.

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